Do I feel like a fake?

So, my therapist asked me yesterday, "Do you still feel like a fake when you leave here?"  I had to think about that, about why that is so. Maybe when I have that one hour a week in a room with no windows, with no sound other than our voices, and i am talking, that is the closest i come to being truly present. And maybe being truly present is so foreign to me that when i walk out into the sunlight.. but also into my ever racing brain... I feel like i have just come out of something unreal... therefore false.. or fake.
    Yesterday at the post office a former friend of my daughter's was at the counter. We hugged and once again exchanged phone numbers. We have never followed up after our 'accidental meetings.' The last time I saw Lee,  she stopped in with her husband, and another couple, also friends of my daughter's , and another couple i had never met, from another state. I do not do well with drop in visits (and drop ins are a common things here.. a 'given')  Still, i did the best i could to be a good host. Anyhow... I have now put in a call to Lee and she may call back later today.
   They do not know why I do not call. They do not know how I do not fit in.. not even into my own skin. They do not know that i view all of them as better than me ; One of the women is a a shaman, and both she and Lee are healers.  When i am around these good souls my mind just swims with the energy they exude, YET, both of these ladies and their husbands are very quiet and humble folks.(they hinted a few times that they would like me to get my guitar and sing to them.. but i always changed the subject. The other couple who were with them, the strangers, just were strange and would not even make eye contact, so i did not at all feel like singing)
   During that visit, the shaman (I will call her Lynn) and i went alone into a room and she told me of the recent suicide of her grandson, with whom she was/is very close. She also did a quick hands on adjustment on my chest, on my heart chakra.  As a result, to help  her through this, it was recommended that she go to a healing retreat in India.  She said that is what saved her from her terrible grief. That was over a years ago.
   Anyhow.. when Lee calls, I am going to tell her how I feel and that i never ever meant to appear to be stand-offish when they have always expressed a desire for us all to stay connected. Lee is younger than I, Linda is 12 years older than I. Now is the time for me to open up and reach out to the ever grounded, ever mellow, ever wise Lee and see if a real friendship develops.
   I have a mailing address for Lynn and so i may write to her. She is a most lovely person. I think maybe i am just too much of a sponge for the energy of others. And in their cases, their energies are held in a balanced and powerful way within themselves, rather than being externally manifest.
   So, do I feel like a fake around Lee and Lynn ? I think that i translate my scrambled feelings influenced by the energy of others as my being fake. Ahhhh..... but I am not fake. It is just that the feelings I am experiencing are not my own ! So, of COURSE they might be interpreted as disingenuous. Ok, Now i will see how this goes now that i am recognizing what goes on when i am around Lee.